english help

Hello,


I'm Belgian and I'm 40. My 13-year-old girl must write a anglish text for school but I'm useless at English and I can't help her.
Does somebody can check this following text ? (and my faults of presentation). Thank you very much ^_^


Once upon a time, a girl named Sarah had her graduation bal in few hours.

Unfortunately for her, she awoke late at 2 pm because the evening before, she had spoken

5 hours on the telephone, until the middle of the night. She was happy to the idea of

dancing with his partner Marc, during this evening. She opened the window and breathed

by it. Sarah quickly did her hair, after she had taken a shower. She looked at the o’clock

and had seen that the bal began in sixty minutes. The girl put his dress later because

before she had made up herself. Suddenly, the phone rang. It was his boyfriend. He said

that he couldn’t come at the prom night because he had broken one of his fingers. Sarah

turned off the telephone after she had shouted on Marc. So, for this prom night she was

lonely, just because his boyfriend didn’t want to come with his broken finger. And she

really wanted to be with someone. But she realized that she just wanted to be with his

boyfriend, no one else. She finally went to the prom night lonely. But when she arrived,

she saw his boyfriend who was already there. He hugged Sarah after he had explained

that he finally did wan to come with her.

PS : She must use only past perfect (continuous) and past simple (countinuous)

Thanks ^^